Another One Bites the Dust!

I am sitting here this morning wondering where the hell the last year has gone! My mother-in-law always told me that once the kids start school, the days just melt into one another. She was absolutely right! Where did 2009 go? Has my brain blocked out the last 365 days? I'm not that old yet. Should my memory really be this bad? When I think back over the last year, all I see are little snippets here and there. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that means 09' wasn't so bad. 2009 totally kicked 2008's ass, so maybe 2010 will be awesome!

Get out of my spot!

So, considering that all of our regular babysitting options have abandoned us for the beach, and that we really haven't enjoyed going out the last few New Years Eve nights, we are staying home this year. I'm ok with it, the hubs is ok with it, and the kids only put up a minimal protest. I took a trip to the butcher yesterday, where he proceeded to whip me up a beautiful stuffed pork roast that I will lovingly cook tonight. My sugar cookie dough is ready to be pressed into happy face cookies for dessert, and we have at least three new board games that our begging to be played. If all else fails, my comfy, caved in spot on the couch and that shiny new big screen t.v. (thanks Mom and Randy!) will fill the time very nicely.

New Years Resolutions

In the spirit of the season, I present to you a few of my New Years resolutions for 2010. (Success is not guaranteed.)

1. I resolve to not start yelling before 7:30 am. I think my kids would have to move out for this to be successful!
2. I resolve to try to not be so controlling with my husband and kids. Hey, can I help it if my way is usually the best way!?
3. I resolve to get my butt in gear and be more active. I have to resign myself to the fact that cleaning the toilets is not considered a "workout."
4. I resolve to take joy in all the little, geeky things that my children do on a daily basis. This one should be easy to keep. I love how their little minds work, and I love that they're not afraid to be silly!
5. I resolve to stop yelling at other drivers when the kids are in the car with me. I can't help it that Bakersfield is populated with a high concentration of idiotic, bad drivers!

I think I will stop now with the resolutions. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. Have a safe and wonderful New Years Eve, and I will see you in 2010!

Isn't Christmas Vacation Over Yet?

Another Christmas has come and gone. One of the things I hate about getting older is how events that you used to anticipate with such great expectations lose their luster. When I was a child, Christmas was an all consuming, delicious culmination of lists and wishes and visits with family. Now, Christmas seems more like a chore. My kids are pretty good about the whole gift thing. We have never been big on tons of presents, at Christmas or any time through the year for that matter, so that part is not so bad. We were presented with their lists, which were quite reasonable, and between us and the grandparents, all Christmas wishes were full filled. Maybe it's the kids getting older that has put a little bah-humbug in my heart. I noticed this year that the excitement waned when decorations were brought out and lights were hung. A quick cursory "ooh, aah" was given and then no more. Sure, the multitude of edible goodies were appreciated, but then again, in my family, yummy food is always appreciated! Maybe it's just me. Maybe, as usual, I have built up in my head a Currier and Ives image of how Christmas "should" be instead of just enjoying what it for what it is. We are healthy, on most days happy, and we are together. Really, that should be enough.

So, one more week of Christmas vacation. While I have enjoyed sleeping in and spending the days in my jammies with the kids, I think I'm ready for school to be back in session. The sounds of yelling and fighting are wearing thin. The boys butts are practically glued to the couch and their eyes are probably ruined from the many hours spent staring at the screen at numerous video games. It may take a crow bar to pry them from their seats, but come Monday morning, they're taking that walk to the bus stop, and silence will once again rain down on my disaster of a house. Maybe I might actually get it cleaned before summer rolls around! My belly needs vacation to be over too! I swear, I've done nothing but eat for the last three weeks! I do believe that our house is inhabited with hungry elves though. There is absolutely no way that I could have ate that pound of fudge all by myself! Oh well, my husband is always saying I need a little more meat on my butt. Well enjoy honey! You got your wish!

Bad Backs and Dog Poo

I pulled a muscle in my lower back a few days ago. I hate being sick, injured, etc. because I don't get the chance to be sick, injured, etc. When the hubs or the kids are afflicted, they set up residence on the couch, expecting the full nursing treatment and act like they are dying! Me, I get to do all of the same things I do when I'm well, like cook dinner and clean house... generally everything. I dared to spend a couple of hours laying on the heating pad yesterday and you would have thought that I was surrounded by infants! All of a sudden, they couldn't do a thing for themselves and of course the hubs needed ten thousand things done by the day before. God forbid I should ever die.

I think I'm going to have a grumpy day today. I am constantly amazed at how the men in my life can be so clueless. This morning, my husband decided to mow the backyard. Hey, I'm not complaining. It's needed to be done and we have a butt load of family coming over for Christmas. Anyways, I came home from the store and was greeted by the site of numerous smears of dog poo blanketing the yard. He claims he picked it up before he mowed. Either he's completely blind and I need to insist on an eye exam as soon as possible, or he fibbed because he knew I would be pissed! I'm going with option number two ladies and gentlemen. Mind you, one of our dogs is his dog, the one he wanted so bad and swore he would take care of. Is it really so much to ask that the poo be picked up? Am I being unreasonable? Now I'm hoping the dark clouds in the sky send down a little liquid and wash my yard free from its poo. You know what, I think I hear my heating pad calling me!

Just Me and My Guys!

So, the hubs is off on another one of his macho, manly mountain excursions with his buds. I am totally OK with that! Is it wrong for me to get as excited about his weekends away as he does? I mean come on, a girls gotta have a break every once in awhile! The boys and I manage to survive just fine by ourselves. Take today for instance. We didn't get out of our jammies until after lunch. We took the dogs for a long walk and we were able to lolly gag to our hearts content. We munched on pizza for dinner with a side of double fudge brownies, and now we are back in our jammies, awaiting the start of Ratatouille. Hello, can you say "perfectly, awesome Saturday!" Don't get me wrong, I do end up missing my sweetie and by Sunday night I'm ready for a little "catching up", if you know what I mean!

My "baby" is growing up. Bradley will be 11 next month and I am constantly amazed at the changes I see in him. This weekend he decided to be the "man of the house" and take care of his poor, helpless mama! He brought in wood, got a very nice fire going, and made sure to inform his brother of all of his shortcomings throughout the day. (Oh wait, he does that everyday!) Even though he is trying to act more mature I take pleasure in knowing that tonight, he will be giving me puppy dog eyes, begging me to let him sleep in my bed, "just for tonight, so you don't get scared." And I will tell him he's too old to sleep with his mom, but in the end will concede because there is nothing better than having your babies snuggled up next to you, even if it is for just one night.

What boys learn...

So, my kids ride the bus to and from school. They are in third and fifth grades and I am fighting a losing battle to keep them innocent. There are a lot of older kids that share the bus stop and apparently, there are some interesting conversations happening. The other day Ben, who is 8, asked me, "Do you know what tea bagging is mom?" I was very proud of myself, I managed to only partially choke on my snack, (thank goodness it was just toast; that gets soft real fast!) and I kept a semi-neutral expression on my face: I think. Anyways, I replied with, "Yes Ben, I do know what that is. Do you?" His response, "Of course mom, but do you know what it means?" So I said, again, "yes, now you tell me what it means." His answer, "Oh mom, it's when a boy puts his privates on someones face, everyone knows that!" Lord help me! When did kids start talking about tea bagging?? When further pressed as to where such information was obtained, I found out that this was the topic of the day at the bus stop. I think I'll start driving the kids to school!

It is now that time of year that moms everywhere both love and dread; Christmas vacation. I have done the good mom thing and compiled a list of fun yet educational activities to do over the next two weeks. Will this be the year that my list actually gets followed? I'm not holding my breath! Most likely this vacation will be like those of the past, two weeks of all day p.j.'s, movie overload, and too much junk food. In other words: fun!

War Games.

Boys crack me up. I don't care how P.C. you are, how anti-war you are, if you have a boy he will automatically know what a gun is and how to use it! I remember when my boys were toddlers. They would pick up legos, a stick, the cat, and point it at you and say "bang." Now I don't make it a habit to run around shooting things,(they didn't learn it from me) so I figure it must be a testosterone thing. It is just one of those many, many traits that the male species possess that make us scratch our heads and say, "huh??" It only gets worse as they age. Now they've been exposed to a much larger array of weaponry!

Yesterday the neighbor boy came over after school. He just turned 12 so he's kind of in that in-between stage that kids go through. He's stuck between trying to act "cool" and wanting to play, not caring if he looks like a dork. Do you ever just sit back and listen to your kids talk amongst themselves? I'm constantly amazed at the ideas they come up with. Yesterdays plan of the day was for a massive war within my house! They stashed guns in strategic places, they had bouncy balls for grenades, and the secret weapon, if they could catch her, was the dog. You could pick up the dog, who is always happy to play along, and use her as a rocket launcher! The noise was horrendous, the casualties were many, and the laughter was abundant. I tell you what, I'm going to miss this in a few years. Bradley is on that cusp. Pretty soon his interests will lay in other areas. So for now, I'm going to look into buying a pair of earplugs and sit back and enjoy watching my kids imaginations at work. Have a great day.

By the Christmas lights glow...

We went to CALM last night to see the lights. I love CALM in the winter. When I walk under the strands of twinkling lights, I feel like a princess in a fairy tale. All I need is the big puffy dress, a bird perched on my finger, and a couple of dwarfs by my side and I'm set! Then I hear the kids screaming in front of me and alas, the spell is broken. Next year I'm going without the kids! It was your typical family excursion...hubs walking 10 steps behind chatting with his bud, the kids 10 steps ahead, trying to see who can be the loudest and knock into the most people, and me, in the middle, the pitch in my voice getting steadily higher and higher as I try to corral my darling heathens who are with their cousins which means more fuel for the fire! All-in-all, it was an enjoyable evening. I highly recommend it to all. The steaming cup of hot cocoa and the 5000 calorie apple dumpling definitely helped.

I am having a major case of the lazy's right now. Each morning I get up with full intentions of running my 4 miles. It doesn't seem to happen as much as it should. With my last few kid free days winding down, all I want to do is sit on the couch in my comfy sweats, drink coffee and gorge on TLC and HGtv! I guess there's always 2010 to start working on my ever expanding butt! Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone.

And the Band Played On...

Last night I was lucky enough to experience the Patriot Elementary beginning band in all of their glory! Actually, they weren't too bad. My oldest, Bradley plays the trumpet. Oh the trumpet...there is nothing like the sound of a beginning trumpet player. It often sounds like a cow's death song. Now Bradley, my dear, sweet, frustrating Bradley, is not too bad. Unfortunately he is a tad lazy and doesn't feel the need to practice on a regular basis. Too bad, I think he could be really good. Anyways, we enjoyed the concert, and if the cow in front of me had chosen another seat, I might have actually been able to see my son play!

To those of you in Bakersfield, we were tipped off about a really cool house that has synchronized their lights to music. It is on Meacham between Verdugo and Jewetta. When you pull up in front of the house, tune your radio to 103.9 and watch as the lights dance to the music. Pretty cool!

I had planned to get my butt out and run this morning, but I have decided that as messy as my house is, cleaning it should burn the same amount of calories! Have a great day.

Morning Mayham.

I despise weekday mornings. Why? Because I always seem to turn into a raving, psycho bitch in the mornings! Thanks to my kids of course. My boys are 10 and 8, old enough to figure out how to get up in the morning and get ready for school. You would think. Instead they revert back to toddler hood! They act like I'm speaking a foreign language. Take this morning for example. After the thousandth time of yelling "shut up and brush your teeth!" I stormed into the bathroom, where the 10 year old was busy stabbing the 8 year old with his toothbrush and the 8 year old was flapping his arms saying, "goo-goo. I'm a stupid baby." What the hell! How do I respond to that? With my usual, "Stop acting like idiots and get finished or you're grounded from video games!" of course. Will I actually follow through with my threat? Probably not. Video games are my salvation! If I ground them, then they'll want to follow me around. I shudder at the thought.

So here is a warning to those who know me: Never, and I mean never, come over before 8:00 am. You will be traumatized! The sight of me, my hair sticking up, my boobs sagging in my dirty pj's, and the look of fury on my face will give you nightmares! I may be a lot of things, but pretty in the morning is not one of them.

Soccer fields and Enemies!

So I went with the kids and the hubs to play a little soccer today. Let's just say that my skills on the soccer field leave much to be desired. Anyways, I'm a good sport, plus my ass has expanded a few inches from my donut pig out yesterday morning, so I laced up my cleats and took to the field. Now I am of the opinion that regardless of your age, if you get out on that field you better be prepared to suffer the consequences. Truly, my elbow did not intentionally go into the eye of the 8 year old trying to block me. It's not my fault his head just happened to be right there!

While I was huffing and puffing up and down that damn field, who should show up but my arch enemy, B. B. and I have not spoken in over a year, much to the dismay of my hubs and hers. As I have tried to explain to my dear spouse numerous times, it is not my fault that B. is a psycho hose beast! Both hubs have tried in vain to get us to kiss and make up, but as many of you women know, grudges can last a lifetime! So we did our usual, which was to pretend that neither one was present, and I went on my merry way. Oh well. Just another lovely Sunday afternoon in suburbia!