Changes

Finally, a chance to share my thoughts once again through the written word. Yes I know, I could have posted many times throughout the last six months, but it seems like everytime my fingers would get ready to begin dancing across the keyboard, life would conspire to stop me. It's amazing the changes that can occur over such a short period of time. For instance, I finally graduated with a college degree. I still have two more quarters to finish for my teaching credential, but the way time whizzes by, that will be done as well before I know it.

The boys have changed over these last few months also. Their thoughts and words are older and a tad bit wiser. Their insults and actions are more creative and biting. Ben continues his assault on my sanity, but believe it or not, his potty mouth has actually cleaned up a little bit. I know, I know, that one is hard to believe. For Bradley, I am beginning to see tiny little glimpses of the man he will soon become. Both physically and mentally, his future self is slowely emerging. Every day, I awake with a feeling of delicious anticipation, wondering what differences I will witness today.

And finally, the hardest and most significant change of all these last few months has been the demise of my marriage. I woke up one day, realizing that I could no longer lie to myself or my spouse. That flame that once burned so brightly had been snuffed out. I was no longer in love with the man that shared my life. Why my feelings had changed will not be shared, but alas, they had. Now I press on, confronting a new and unknown future. I am filled with feelings of sadness, fear, and apprehension. But I also possess a new feeling of lightness and peace. I have no idea what the future has in store for me, but as long as my children are by my side, I know I will be ok.